Have you heard Dr. Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Mary Morrissey… teach?: “Forgiveness if for us. NOT for the other person.”
I am very grateful to have learned this lesson and the power of forgiveness naturally at the young age of 20. I had a real life “Cinderella step-mother” who had been married to my father for 15 years. My dad and her were in the midst of a divorce. She did not want to let him go and he informed her the only way he would consider taking her back was if myself and my grandmother forgave her (he knew this would never happen).
My step-mother reached out to me and asked to have lunch with her. I knew her motive and decided intuitively to forgive her, so I agreed. I also knew my grandmother would never forgive her, or even consider it, as she had not even seen the woman in over 14 years. Therefore, my father was safe.
We met as planned for lunch and had a clearing conversation. I spoke my truth, asked her some uncomfortable questions and forgave her. That was the last time I saw or spoke to her, which was over 21 years ago.
This incident freed me energetically! I no longer held any lingering resentment, anger or hostility towards her. I felt powerful and had no more fear when it came to her. This is when I learned through experience that forgiveness was FOR me; NOT for her.
Through my studies over the years, I now understand that this is true of ALL forgiveness: IT IS FOR US, just as the masters teach. In fact, the other person may not ever need to know you forgive them, yet you can find it in your heart to do so in order to be free. It is not always easy, but when you are ready, it can be done.
Another thing to understand is that even though we forgive, it does not mean that we are saying their behavior is OK or that we welcome it in our life again.
An example of this in my own life was when my mother passed away and her husband took my grandmothers rings after her passing, dishonoring my mother’s dying wishes for me and my sister to have them. I was very angry for a while and it added to my grief. It took me some time, but knowing the freedom it would bring my heart, I found the power to forgive him. He does not know it however. I never reached out and I kindly say he is never welcome in my life. If he comes up in my mind, I send him love from afar and that is it. I do not agree with his behavior, yet I let it go to be a free, whole and loving person.
IF there is someone you need to forgive and it is depleting your happiness and fulfillment in life: DO IT! Find a way!
Here are a few tips on HOW to take action to forgive:
*You can write a letter, saying EVERYTHING you need to say and burn it (or send it if it is right for you).
*If it is healthy for you and them, you can have a clearing conversation.
*You can simply decide to forgive them and when you are ready… let it go! Anytime they come up in your mind, send them love from afar.
No matter what, remember this is FOR YOU! You deserve to be happy and free, and we must clear all negativity that weighs us down in order to do so.
The most challenging for people can be self forgiveness. That is a whole different blog, but is as equally as important! We need to love ourselves unconditionally and not beat ourselves up for mistakes in our past. We learned to walk by falling down, so mistakes are often our greatest teachers. The important thing is that you learn from it and do your best to never repeat it.
If you need some help and are bogged down by your past or resentments from others behaviors, I am here for you beautiful butterfly!
Once you are free, the weight is lifted, and you will fly!…